Local Dancers Proclaim: "It’s Ass Time!"

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    By Natalie Phillips

    You might have seen them before.
    Perhaps you have glimpsed them at your cousin’s wedding party, spinning drunkenly but confidently in open jackets and stunna shades, batting away the eager arms of your tipsy Aunts and Grandmothers. Maybe you’ve even woken up one morning to find a pair of iridescent purple jeans next to your bed, a burning sensation between your legs and traces of ribbons in your hair.
    The Danger Boys Ribbon Dance team is a major force in this city. Or at least they claim to be. Made up of three elusive young men who are "strongly affiliated with the campus" but not necessarily students, the trio "Ri$ky Bu$$ine$$," "Big Dick Master" and "Mr. Young One" has performed on and off campus for three years now.
    United by a love of 80s music and a hatred of rival UC Santa Cruz dance group "Folklorico," The Danger Boys formed spontaneously three years ago at Oakes’ "Dragging Back the 80s" dance.
    The song was "Wild Boys" by Duran Duran. Ribbons were twirled, asses were shaken. The rest is history, because good luck getting facts from a group who can’t decide if their fourth member fell off a cliff or a building.
    Even finding meaning in their names proved difficult, as this interview excerpt shows:
    "He was sloppy when he kissed, but he was good with the tongue. They called him Mr. Young One."
    "Is that a song?"
    "It’s the truth."
    The Danger Boys’ claim to fame was their opening dance for the Rocky Horror Picture Show two years ago, which featured a guest female performer in a wheelchair and is available for viewing on Youtube.com. They also noted a disastrous performance for last spring’s College 10 Idol, for which they were kicked out.
    "Some say we were making a mess," Mr. Young One said vaguely.
    "We knocked over some couches," Big Dick Master said. "It makes me sick talking about it."
    The Danger Boys estimate that they’ve performed almost 80 times. "We average at least 15 a quarter," Mr. Young One said. "We’ve definitely done two or three in a night."
    And how does one acquire The Danger Boys for, as their flyer advertises, "parties, bachelorette parties, Jewish parties, ‘fiestas,’ throw-downs, weddings, open-mic nights, 1st-3rd dates, and college nights"? They are a generous crew; all it takes is free booze.
    "It’s a volunteer service," Ri$ky Bu$$iness said. "Starving Students, they move stuff. We move our bodies."
    "We are romantically attached to the community," Big Dick Master said. "We are public servants."
    Surrounded by enigma, The Danger Boys did have one thing they wanted to clear up.
    "We are not gay," Mr. Young One said. "We are absolutely not gay."You can contact the Danger Boys via email at Dangerboys@gmail.com, or their webpage, www.myspace.com/thedangerboys.