One thing I’ve learned at UC Santa Cruz is how to be comfortable feeling lost. There are no maps or trailheads guiding a college student on the perfect path. It is something we find through a series of right and wrong turns — the passions we choose to pursue, the people we choose to spend our time with.
Every decision I’ve stumbled upon has been a crossroad so broad, it’s impossible to look at without feeling uneasy. But it is this discomfort that paves my path in becoming an adult. This poem is a collection of notes I’ve gathered along the way.
When saplings first enter the Forest
Uprooted and replanted far from home
They’re entranced by the expanse of the canopy
They are delighted to watch
From the shimmering understory
And dream of the day they’ll be giants
They reach out their anxious hands
For opportunities that sit like restless leaves
Aching to be brewed in a boiling kettle of youth
To show every sapling a different way to grow
These opportunities may come in new faces and endless nights
Maybe even liquor bottles and strange pipes.
When saplings first enter the Forest
Their meager roots sit disoriented on the ground
Unsure of where to bury themselves
When each evening is a question of what to reap and sow
The unsettling fluidity of sitting in open air
When “free” and “vulnerable” start humming the same tune
They reach out their unsure hands
And hang from limbs they know could snap
They may fall and wake up on trails they don’t recognize
In a Forest that has lost its glittering sense of whimsy
They become wary of what growth has shown
When the sitting in the understory feels starkly alone
But after saplings first enter the trees
Between the growing pains of being on their own
Their roots quietly find places to intertwine
In soil that holds them and makes them feel at home
They stretch their limbs into the sky and flourish
Smile and see, they are now giants of the Forest.
College is a whirlwind of change. The number of choices placed in front of students every day is overwhelming, to say the least. Here are some resources I’ve found distinctly helpful in planting my roots:
Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS)
